She taught me how to take something some people might just throw out, and then sweat and work and love it back to beautiful… I still remember everything I learned from Rosie. She wasn’t for awhile when she was first gone, but she is now, I can feel it. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of the shape of her or see a footstep that looks like the way she walked in someone else on a sidewalk some days and my heart skips, but it always stills quickly. Earlier, they relate one of the most powerful passages, in the charm-turned-heartbreak story of their friendship with Rosie - a formative moment that is unforgettable: The deeply personal reflection they’re known for shines through.Ĭoyote chronicles a trip through the medical system for chest surgery: “The government will pay for you to get fixed, but only if they decide you are broken in the right way.” And also the politics of navigating washrooms and opening up to their family about having chest surgery - and by extension, being transgender-identified in the first place.

It makes sense that they’d complement each other, in alternating chapters. Yet, both also discover alienation from people they most expected to be able to turn to for support: for Spoon, this comes from being pushed toward a transgender narrative which (though closer) didn’t quite fit them either for Coyote, it’s the jarring change in attitude they witnessed from a gay male friend, once a trans acquaintance left the room.īoth of the authors have a gift for reaching deep within, finding moments in their lives that are sometimes humourous, sometimes poignant and retelling those moments vividly and candidly. The dual memoir - written to complement their acclaimed multimedia live show - is an intense and intimate journey through moments that are sometimes charming, sometimes uncomfortable, but often unexpected.Īlong the way, the two find acceptance in surprising places, such as when Spoon encounters a transitioning teen in Prince George, or when Coyote discusses replies from family, after what they describe as their second coming out. Navigating an intense and intimate journey They attempt to weather those awkward moments with patience and dignity, while feeling others’ erosive judgments (conscious or not) chip away at them. Within its pages, Coyote and Spoon - both of whom identify as transgender and use the pronoun “they” - relate moments of their lives in which they navigate ill-fitting gender rules, roles and assumptions. So begins Gender Failure, a collection of autobiographical vignettes, lyrics, sketches and essays by Rae Spoon and Ivan E. As a person who couldn’t conform to what was expected of me, I thought I was a failure and kept it to myself…”

To resist would have put me in danger, so I kept any subversive thoughts covert. I wasn’t allowed to express how uncomfortable it was for me.

Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote